EDITOR’S NOTE: Revised and updated with video for 2015. Video is based upon a modified text of the version below and includes images and videos from dozens of Dads.
With Father’s Day just around the corner, I wanted to share with you a few thoughts on what I believe to be the true meaning of what I call just being a Dad. Here is what being a Dad means to me:
- Requires that you know there’s a difference between protecting and preventing.
- Involves the transition from being someone who was selfish, to one who is selfless.
- Causes me to accept the fact that it’s really no longer about me any more.
- Means remembering that we have not inherited this planet from our ancestors, rather we are only borrowing it from our children.
- Demands that I always keep in mind that one generation plants the trees, while the next gets the shade.
- Asks that I always keep in mind the greater good is far more important than the perceived greatness of having goods.
- Involves being able to walk a mile in pint sized shoes.
- Requires that you be comfortable with being a hero to someone but respectful of the power that being a hero entails.
- Means that just as soon as you’ve figured some aspect of parenting out, you have to learn another one as the kids keep changing too.
- Involves knowing that your kids are watching and listening to every thing you do or say.
- Requires that you know how to build a snow-fort which no army could ever get past, followed by knowing how to make the best hot chocolate EVER once you come back inside.
- Teaches you how to survive with less sleep, since your kids will get you up during the night when they are younger and keep you up at night once they are older.
- Means that you make mistakes along the way, and that while you think you’ve just ruined your child for life in the process, you discover they’re actually more resilient that you think.
- Requires you to remember that once upon a time you did the same senseless and stupid things as a kid that your kids do today, and yet you somehow still survived.
- Teaches you that you don’t actually need to go to the Gym when your kids are young since they are more than happy to act as substitute weights to perform chest presses, arm curls, push ups and sit ups.
- Prepares you for hearing the word “again” each and every time you do something with the kids that is fun for them but physically draining for yourself.
- Quickly teaches you that no matter how many times you say “just this once” it will have no bearing whatsoever on how many times you’ll be asked to do it.
- Has one particular advantage over being a mom in that stress induced gray hairs on dads are actually viewed as positive and distinguished.
- Nowadays requires that you are just as skilled with a spatula as you are with a screwdriver
- Is at the same time both the scariest accomplishment I have ever achieved (or ever will achieve) as well as the greatest accomplishment ever…by far!
SO WHAT DOES BEING A DAD MEAN TO YOU?
I’d love to get a conversation going here and I’d love to hear from other Dads as to what it means to be a Dad in their own words. I’d even love to hear from Mom’s who want to share how they view the meaning of being a Dad through the eyes of their own Dad’s or Husbands and Partners. Please offer your thoughts in the comments section below and I’ll look forward to reading them!
There are no perfect fathers, just perfect moments. Get your basics right and become a great dad.
https://www.parentcircle.com/article/10-tips-to-be-a-great-dad/
I have a room mate who’s daughter is 18 yrs old, is involved in drugs. Has been arrested 44 times for various things. She calls him every time there’s trouble, demanding he does this and that. Its daddy always to the rescue. I’ve told him the hardest part of being a good dad is to let them fall, let them learn from the mistakes they make.
I was told just before Christmas that I will become a dad. It’s not hit me yet to be honest but I have mix emotions on what life will hold for me when he or she is here. It will me my 1st child so I’m nerves but excited at the same time. There are a lot of questions which I search for answers for.
What a good Blog, I really enjoyed reading it. I also have a Blog on Fatherhood, offering tips and advice on how to handle everyday situations that arise with your children. I would be interested in any feedback you can give me. The address is: helpimafather.wordpress.com
Perhaps if you like it, you could share it with your Followers, if not, I fully understand
Being a great dad Is someone thst will always Be there For their children, And exactly like my grandfather was there for me. My father died From melanoma cancer When I was three and a half. On my daddy’s death bed he is my grandfather To please take his place, and make sure that we want for nothing. At that time my grandfather Was in his late fifties. I thank God Everyday for him, becouse Without him Me, My brother, and sister would not have The quality of life Without him. He died just two years ago At the awesome age of 96. Words cannot describe How much of an impact On my life He was. And before he passed I made sure he knew it. I have one son he’s 9 years old, and it’s really hard right now For him and me. Everytime I think It’s rough, I think about my grandfather And how much he sacrificed for us. Then it’s not so bad at all! I love you with all my heart Maddox.
I have a 14 month old boy. i belive being a dad is to provide unconditional love, be a pillar of strength and compassion but at the same time deliver disipline and protection always firm but fair. the strength to change yourself to, i suffered chronic alcoholism for 13 yrs and when i found out my boy was on the way i sobered up and been living the clean life ever since. also i belive the best thing about being a dad is watching them experince life and seeing that smile and big belly laugh.
Even though I never really met my dad until I was 19 year old for thanksgiving. A dad to me is someone who loves you unconditionally without any doubts, someone to always be there to pick you up when you fall. Even when you wrong he still loves you enough to correct you. A dad is the rock and supplier of the family. A dad plays as a role model for both son and daughter. A dad is strictly sincere at what he do and does for the purpose of his children. Just like I said I haven’t been so fortunate to have a dad in my life. But this is how I imagine how a dad should be and how I want the father of my daughter to be when she is born in July.
My idea of being a good father is providing, by all means necessary. Keeping it legal of course. Showing love and strength when needed. Giving them the knowledge of your struggle which I believe will give a guide line what to do and not to do hopefully. Most of all be there when they miss up for we know it’s coming, knowing how to be firm and loving so your words won’t be taken out of (context.) not allowing others point of view to bring you down. Making it clear I am whom I am. I can’t be someone else nor can I act or do as some other male would do. Ex- specially if you have walked the same path.
Thanks Arthur – great points!
For me a dad is responsible for his family and he will always put to his mind that provide everything just for the sake of his children.
Thanks Olivia…I appreciate your thoughts and agree with them as well!
Dad can be a mountain of sacrifice coz he wants to get you what he couldn’t. Once he is convinced that you are his creation from then onwards you become the center of everything he does and thinks of. If mom took that pain to bring you to this world then dad takes every bit of pain to preserve you. I love you dad !
For me Dad is perfect and unique.
That’s awesome to read. Thanks for sharing Olivia!
“The meaning of being a dad ” well I had a great father ie: papa as my gran n papa adopted me at 8 weeks old now I always saw my birth parents as I had sister n brothers but my birth father to me was just like someone I said hi too as they say out of sight out of mind but my papa ie my DAD he was the best dad ever I looked up to him in everyway possible he was z great influence in my life & he passed away July 2013 & its broke heart & to this day my birth father just gives a wave . Anyway I have 2 children & I always said I would never let them go without seeing there dad
Well that’s what I thought he only seemed to be interested when he was bored . My husband now has done more than there own father so to me any man can be a dad bit it takes a real man to bring the child /kids up.
Thanks for sharing Maralissia. I appreciate you doing so.
Eric, good list, I think you’ve hit most of the big things but I would suggest the biggest of all… The main purpose of being a father is to teach their children to love Jesus first and foremost… First of all, if that’s held as the number one priority then all the other items in this list are much more achievable… Secondly, if one is truly a long-term planner, like you’ve mentioned – “one generation plants a tree, the following ones get shade” – what can be more important then preparing your children for a life of eternity spent with other people that have given their lives for Jesus and thus will share an eternity with them all?
A good father doesn’t have to be a religious father. I know that you have a strong Christianity foundation but if you take a look around, you’ll clearly aware of the fact that every good dad in this world doesn’t need to teach children about their faith, they just need to show that they are really caring and loving to their own children limitlessly.
a huge memorable moment for me was when after hearing some not-so-good news from doctor i just stayed in my room emotionally distraught. i was over twenty and didnt want to say anything to anyone, my Dad heard my sobbing and asked what was wrong. i just said i was upset about something but giving no details. without prodding for any details he quietly came in and just stayed in my room close by not saying a word. he just wanted to be with me and express that even though no one spoke actions of just be in the same room…..quiet ……was a forever memory. my Dad is like that. quietly caring. just what I need.
Wow…thanks Tracy for sharing. A great memory indeed.
It means writing letters (in my case for 15 years) that never get replied to. It means understanding that in the UK, you lose all the rights you ever thought you had as a father, when separation & divorce come into play ~ especially when the female guardian gets the right to take the law into her own hands. It means Fathers For Justice. It means being prepared for the fact that your child will be brainwashed, to hate you. It means that with a 50% or more divorce rate in Britain, it could happen to any one of you.
I believe that a good father leads by example. For example: When a father treats the mother poorly the child sees that and in turn thinks it’s ok or normal. If this is reoccurring then the daughter will find someone just like her father in the manner of how her father treated her mother. I think it is one of the most important factors that being a good father is. If you show love and affection to the mother than the child will be the same way with their spouse. If it turns the other way it is very detrimental to the child in the long run. It could either be a positive outcome or a vicious cycle.
My dad is passed away I always feel alone with him. 🙁 I unable to say a single words anyway I wana to say thanks to ‘Eric Novak’ nice sharing.
Regards,
baby bedding
I think this is a great list. I would also add to it “leading by example”. I have two amazing dads (a biological dad and a stepdad) and both have done this very well. All 4 of my parents (both biological parents re-married) are amicable and actually put their feelings and possibly awkwardness aside for me, and they always have. Now that I have kids, they even hold a giant annual family birthday party every summer at my mom and stepdad’s house, where my dad and stepmom are always invited, welcomed and treated like friends. It hasn’t escaped me that this must be difficult for all of them, but none of them ever show it. I grew up with my stepdad because I lived with my mom, so we are close and he’s like another “real” dad to me.
When I got married, I was worried about how to get around the issue of who would walk me down the aisle. Despite how much it must have hurt him, my stepdad insisted it should be my biological dad, and I know my dad really appreciated that. Walking me down the aisle was his biggest dream and meant a lot to him.
My kids will grow up seeing, just like I did, that a great dad puts the love for his child ahead of his own pride. That both of my dads do this means everything to me!
Great comments Sara! Thank you for sharing this. And I totally agree that one of the most special moments of my life as a Dad will hopefully be the day when I get to walk my only daughter down the aisle.
I need to send this to my nephews biological father because obviously he has no clue what it means to be a father or dad. Now after 18years and never being involved he wants to be a dad and take that throne away from my sister wonderful husband who has been there for my nephew for the past 10 years. LOVE you definition.
How would see a dads job as?
Being a dad is something that takes a lifetime. But only needing a blink of an eye to love more than anything.Dad will give his only drink of water or move from the heat and let his child stay warm.
Thanks Byron for the comments. They are greatly appreciated and well stated.
Being a dad is not a simple as conceiving a child. A dad is the hardest but most rewarding job a man can get.A dad protects as well as letting your child make his own mistakes.but not judge only teach. A dad is the one who know its not about him anymore.A dad is the one who gives his last drink of water,or moves away from the heat to let his child get warm. A dads job may not have any benefits, but dad knows that his benefits are seen when he looks into his child’s eyes.
From one Ajacian to another, you have written a wonderful article. Everything you have mentioned is so key to being a father. I was reflecting what a father provides to a family in my own blog when I saw your blog. Attending a father’s day dinner yesterday at my brother’s house sparked the subject for my blog today when my brother commented that father’s day is really not necessary. I disagree. I think fathers should be celebrated and are needed for their children just as much as their mother. Great list!
Thank you Anne! It’s great to hear feedback from Mom’s as well as Dad’s…and as for being a fellow Ajacian – so much the better!! Thanks again…
Many of those ring true for me. Another for me is sharing in their likes and intetests, not just me sharing mine.
Being a Dad means being never being afraid to openly share your weaknesses and mistakes with your children so they can learn and grow from hearing them.
Thanks Paul….agreed.
Being a Dad means setting aside things that previously seemed all important to focus on what is truly important.
Being a Dad brings opportunities to experience phrases such as “heart full of joy” and “heart wrapped around their little finger” and “heart in your mouth” and “heart swelled with pride”.
Being a Dad is a sure chance at being loved unconditionally and a chance to love unconditionally.
Being a Dad means sometimes being surprised to hear words come out of your mouth that your Dad uttered.
Being a Dad is the most important, most rewarding, best paying job you will ever have.
Happy Father’s Day, Eric.
Thanks for the wonderful comments and insights Don! Your work in the community and your role as a Father and Big Brother are well known and you are someone that all Dad’s should look to as an example of how to do it right!
Have a Happy Father’s Day my friend!
This is an excellent article.
I couldn’t summarize what being a dad to me is in just a couple of words, or paragraphs.
Thanks Darryl – yes, sometimes it’s real hard to put into words what being a Dad really means.
Happy Father’s Day!
Being a Dad . . . hmm, good question. The best answer I can give is by using my father (and mother) as an example. My sister and I were both adopted as infants, so being a father means changing your life to create a life. Thanks Dad, and I miss you.
There’s nothing like having great examples to emulate. Thanks Bill for your comments.
Being a dad means being part of something bigger than me. It is my everything.
My Dad is my world! Having a solid relationship with your father growing up especially for a girl means a lot. You tend to pick a good boyfriend or husband because of it also. No wonder I’m single!! He has raised the bar so high that nobody really impresses me! hahaha.
Thanks Jacqueline – and you are absolutely right in that a father’s role with his daughter is absolutely critical! I hope I can be as good a father to my daughter as your father was to you…
Being a Dad ….Hmmm……reminding them that life’s journey holds many teachings…some understood right when they happen and others in time….it takes our whole lifetime becoming who we are…..always keep learning….never give up …life is good !
Thanks Alex – great input!